How To Start A War-A Guide To Goading

Yo trump! You gonna let that little pouty-mouthed twerp push you around? You coward. That little fat bastard just took a swing at our good friend Japan. You gonna let him get away with that? Are you? You big chicken shit. Yeah, you talk tough. Big man, blondie, but when push comes to shove, you cave. Nobody’s afraid of you except your own citizens. You’re no better than Obama. He didn’t do anything either. You’d let that evil little dwarf with the 1980s birds nest hairdo get away with murder. What’s the deal, Donnie? You planning on building a trump Tower in Pyongyang?

Help Houston

I don’t give money to the Red Cross because it’s had too many financial scandals over the years. I don’t give money to the Salvation Army, either. It discriminates against homosexuals because of its Christian beliefs. I give my disaster relief money to Americares. Here’s the address. http://www.americares.org

A Sick Joke

Southerners will love or hate this cartoon, but you Yankees probably won’t quite understand it unless you know the story of Thomas Jonathan “Stonewall” Jackson. He got his nickname in the first Battle of Bull Run in 1861 when one of his generals said, “Look, men, there is Jackson standing like a stone wall.” But at the battle of Chancellorsville in 1863, he was accidentally shot three times in the left arm by his own Confederate troops, what today we call friendly fire. Unable to save the shattered arm, a surgeon amputated it. A company chaplain took the severed arm to his family’s nearby farm, gave it a traditional Christian service and buried it in the cold, cold ground. The farm still sta

GOP RIP

It’s happening. I saw this coming in 2016, the split and destruction of the Republican Party. I didn’t know precisely how it would happen, but current events are following a political reality and logic. What rational Republican could vote for trump, or any Republican the fake president might endorse? The answer is very few. I think the Republican voters in 2020 will break down like this: The most hate-filled prejudiced Republicans will vote for trump (if he’s still in office) again and blame his failures on Congress, the media, the Republican establishment, the usual suspects. The hardcore Republicans who voted for trump and in their heart, know they made a terrible mistake will never vote f

How Low Can They Go?

Can they sink any lower? I’ll answer that. Yes. They can, and have in the past. I saw the end coming for the GOP last year. The party had become based on racism and hate, nicknamed “The Party of No,” dedicated to nothing more than stopping Pres. Obama’s agenda. The clown car full of candidates in 2016 was a clear notification the party had run out of ideas if not power hungry demagogues. Then I realized that for the party to self-destruct, it would have bring the United states of America down with it. In 2016, I saw the electoral system fail us again as it did in 2000. Now, I’m watching as the governing system is working overtime trying to save us. The Republicans are so blinded by their own

A Historic Moment

It’s a phenomenon, a rare moment in American history. It hasn’t happened before in quite the same way. Oh, there have been others, to be sure, but this time it’s different. Most of the United States of American is affected. But, there is no reason to be frightened. The moment of darkness won’t last long, as these things go. It’ll be over before you know it, just a distant memory. The eclipse is cool, too.

Hope From Charlottesville

There was something that didn’t happen last weekend in Charlottesville, something that provides a clue to “both sides,” as trump put it. “Both sides,” the demonstrators and the counter-demonstrators, were armed but nobody pulled their gun and started firing. Virginia is an open carry state. It could’ve happened. It didn’t. Yes, a woman was killed and several were injured by an assassin with a car, but we in Connecticut especially know what widespread carnage and grief can be caused by just one automatic weapon in the hands of a maniac. This tells me there may be a crack in the solid wall of hate that keeps “both sides” apart, that maybe things haven’t gone too far. If we could get “both sid

Alt-Wrong

Boy, the haters have really lost it. There was time when they’d come thundering into town on horseback with torches soaked in flaming gasoline. Now they come in holding tiki torches and wearing white golf shirts. They look like waiters at Applebee’s. The days of non-violent counter protests are over. If the extremist hate groups think they can march in to a town and defame it like they have in the past, well, they better examine whatever fecal matter is inside their thick skulls. The targets of their hate are not going to take it any more. They’re standing up and fighting back. For those who would rather fight with their intellect than their fists and feet, there are plenty of nonviolent way

War! What Is It Good For?...

...well, ratings for the 24-hour news channels for one thing. Distracting us from Special Prosecutor Bob Mueller’s investigation of trump is another. The media notwithstanding, there will be no hot war with N. Korea. What’s going on is an escalation of bullshit between two world leaders who are simply full of it. In fact, there are back channel negotiations going on. The risk is greatest for N. Korea. It would be quite simple for trump to destroy it if he doesn’t mind sacrificing the millions of our allies in the South. “Kimmy Junkyard” Un could not destroy America no matter what he says. He’s doing the same thing trump’s doing, distracting his people, only in his case, from the fact they ar

Fake News, Real Lies

It’s instructive to see one of trump’s lies up close and how he mixes truth and fabrication. His latest Tweet about Sen. Richard Blumenthal is a case in point. Yes, during an election campaign Blumey said he served in Vietnam. Yes, he lied. Yes, he apologized in an embarrassing moment. No, he did not cry “like a baby.” He didn’t cry at all. He said he was sorry and the veterans and voters of Connecticut forgave him enough to vote him into office time and time again. Why did he lie? I’m not a shrink, but I think a lot of men feel guilty they avoided active armed conflict over there. But any man who was paying attention back then knew that Vietnam was a un-winnable war, that the U.S. was not

Football Head

I like to watch football. When I was younger, I liked to play football, too, but it was either two-handed tag, or flag football. Mostly, it was about getting together with friends on a Saturday afternoon and drinking a few beers afterward. The first time I drank Coors was in the back of a pickup truck after a game. I don’t remember anything about the game, but I remember thinking that Colorado’s most famous beer (rare in Indiana, at the time) we heard so much about tasted like any other beer. I’m a closeted Patriots fan on the DL, what with societal approbation against the most hated team in football. Fans are discriminated against daily, especially on Thursday nights, Monday nights and Sund

Farm For Sale

Before my wife and I were married, we went camping on Mt. Dessert Island in Maine. While checking the map, I saw that E. B. White’s farm was nearby in N. Brooklyn. I’m a huge fan of White’s writing and wanted to see the birthplace of such great prose and polished thought. On the map, it seemed only a few miles away and it was, as the crow flies. The crow may fly a straight line along coastal Maine, but a car on those winding roads takes a very long time. When we found the farm, I pulled into the driveway and knocked on the farmhouse door. There were obvious signs and sounds of work being done. There was a small dumpster in the driveway and three old vintage bathtubs in the barn waiting to be

Look, Stop Saying “Look!”

Pres. Obama started it back in 2008. He would start an answer to a question with “look,” as in, “Look, a nuclear North Korea is unacceptable.” Now everybody’s doing it and doing it to excess. The other night, one of our brilliant congressmen said it three times in a paragraph. When I hear a politician do that, it says to me that they are in fact saying, “Look, focus, you distracted idiot. I’m not going to screw around with you. I’m completely out of patience with your nonsense!” It’s a stall, of course. What it has become is an attempt to sound authoritative while the mind races with thoughts like, “Oh my God. What can I say that won’t get me in trouble? I can’t give an honest answer. It’ll

Revenge Politics

The Founders knew this phenomenon well. Tit for tat, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. They knew human nature because they were closer to it than we are in modern society. They had to figure a way to protect humankind from our natural inclinations. They had to figure a way to balance it through laws. Politics at its best is about balance. Politics can be the leveler between our basest instincts and better angels. The Founders gave us that, a way to make things work in spite of ourselves. All we need is a modern miracle. I’m watching “John Adams” on Amazon. The reason those courageous men were able to pull off their miracle was simple. If they failed, they died by hanging.

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© BOB ENGLEHART 2018 | All Rights Reserved.

Editorial and political cartoons by Bob Englehart