Size Matters

I read a story in the online newspaper The Guardian about a promising college football player who was working with a masseuse to stretch his hands 5/8 of an inch larger to improve his draft possibility. It seems that many professional football mavens feel a larger hand means a player is less likely to drop the ball. The Green Bay Packers were one of the first teams to focus on hand size many years ago and were more than happy with Brett Favre’s big hands until he retired with the most fumbles in the history of the NFL. I’m not wondering about Trump’s tiny hands. Being a golfer, tennis player and swimmer means I’ve been in many men’s locker rooms in my lifetime and I’ve noticed a correlation between hand size and another male body part.

I’m thinking that what Trump has that’s very small is not just his tiny appendages that slip effortlessly into a glove. It rests in his lap while sitting. He’s obviously over-compensating for something. Everything about Trump is big, big real estate, big jet, big helicopter, big income, big fashion model wife, big hair. I’m not a shrink, but I think he’s hiding something and it’s not in his tax returns. It’s in his shorts.